A Poem

It has been a long time since i have not written any poem .Maybe i am lost in this world .Maybe i dont know what to do or maybe i am just lazy .

Behta hua nadi ke tareh ,
jaane kahan aa gaya hoon mai ,
na koi manzil hai ,na koi raah hai
bas idhar se udhar ,
jaha le jaaye hawa
chale jata hoon mai .

wo samay tha kabhi jab chattane thi kai ,
wo samay tha kabhi jab ufaan tha,
badhe jaata tha bas aage he aage
kyonki aage he badhna manzil thi
ab na koi chattan hai
na he koi ufaan hai
jab kabhi thak jata hoon chalte chalte
tab khud se he takraata hoon mai.

koi mila raah mai to saath aa gaya
kuch waqt gujaar ke aage nekal gaye
kuch waqt gujaar ke peeche he reh gaye
mai bas chalta raha
aur nekal gaya itana aage
ke koi nahi raha ab saath mai,
kuch pal ke saath ke baad akela na reh jaaon,
ishliye saath se ghabrata hoon mai

chalte chalte behte behte
ek din mil jaaunga sagar se
aur ho jaaunga ek sabhi nadiyon se
door sabhi yaadon se
door sabhi riston se
jo saath rahe jo chale gaye
bhool kar ye sab baat
kar lunga samarpan
aatma visharjan
yahi soch chalta jata hoon mai

Flag and Bus

On 15th , i thought that i should be more active and decided to watch some movie . I thought "Harry potter and Order of phoenix " will be fine . PVR was showing it . So i went to Garuda mall .While i was waiting for bus , i saw many children waving tricolor .It was everywhere . every fourth auto had a flag . Many buses had it . and some motorcycles also had it . I was surprised to see so many flags everywhere .

There was a flower show at Lalbagh . Even from bus i can see thousands of people in and around Lalbagh .Because of traffic bus stopped many times and it took me more than two hours to reach Mayo hall .

I know that i will not get ticket for "Chak de India " . But as harry potter was released last month, i was hoping for it . When i reached Garuda mall , i saw that it is Inox and PVR is at Forum . As i was in no mood to travel more , i decided to have lunch there and come back .

But there was one problem , like Abhimanyu i know how to go from my place to mayo hall but dont know how to come back . So after waiting more than half an hour for the bus i decided to do what i do in such situations . i walked up to MG road from where i took the bus . As i had pass, i don't need to worry where the bus will go . Luckily it was going to Shivaji nagar and i know which bus will go from there to my place.

I waited for the bus but it didn't come . Because of traffic i had to wait for more than 2 hours .

So my whole day was spent in waiting for bus and commuting .

So i confirmed what i already know . It is better to enjoy holiday at home sleeping and watching cartoons .

Cartoons

There was a time when we had only one channel :Doordarshan . It was not even 24 hours channel . Obviously there were few serials and fewer cartoons . He-Man must be one of the earliest cartoon that i watched because i remember the dialogue "BY THE POWER OF GREYSKULL!! I HAVE THE POWER ."I remember GI Joe , Sigma and some other cartoons but all i remember is their name .

But there were some cartoons i can never forget . It is mostly because of the opening song they had .

Gaya Baya : gaya baya gaya baya
kissi ko hasaane aaya
kissi ko rulaane aaya
gaya baya gaya baya

Jungle Book : Jungle jungle baat chali hai pata chala hai



arre chaddi pehen ke phool khila hai phool khila hai

Duck Tales :Jindagi toofani hai
jahan hai Duck Tales
gadiyan lajer hawaai jahaj ,
yeh hai duck tales

TalesPin : dont remember the song only the tune

kahaniya : Guccha hai bhai guchha hai kahaniyon ka guccha hai

Kahani le lo

khatti hai to namak lagake

khatti hai to namak laga ke

gale mai utare paani
le lo le lo

guchha hai bhai , guchha hai

kahaniyon ka gichha hai

kahani le lo

My journey

First time i thought what i wanted to do in my life was when my teacher asked us what you want to become . One of my friend said "Doctor" .Another said "engineer" . When my turn came i said "nothing " .
This answer was ridiculed every time i said it . But it was true . I never give it much thought . I wanted to flow like water singing :

" हम तो दरिया है हमे मालूम है अपना हुनर ,
जिस तरफ भी मुद गए रास्ता हो जाएगा "


I spend weekend reading comics . In evening i love to walk aimlessly . As an aftereffect of comics most of the time i will be lost in fantasy world . Though it was not like this earlier . When i was in school i used to sing poems .Without meaning , without any theme . I will be singing while roaming in Jungle .

And i have realized that this is what i love . No aim , just wandering here and there. Sometimes it rain .I saw people trying to hide under some shop . I don't understand why people don't enjoy rain .

Sometimes when i get tired , i drink a cup of tea. It is a very different experience .Drinking tea and watching people all around you .Everybody busy in his life . Or watching moon and stars .And i remember

" To enjoy your tea you have to be there "

virtual love

Ashish called me last week. He is in love again .I know it will not take much time , but i was expecting better resistance from him . After all he is a master -level guy .

He was talking to many girls .Last time he told me about a girl who is engaged with some other guy .She was hooked on talking to him and he was enjoying the game. I warned him that he will fall , but he told me that he understand everything now.if only it was true.

The girl told him that she has broken her engagement .Now Ashish started talking to her as friend.slowly slowly he fell again .He proposed her and she accepted.ha ha ha ha...

He knows that there is no future.But he dont want to accept reality .And that is the main problem .If you just want to enjoy , then it is fine.But if you want to escape , you are falling . I told him bare truth .There is no future. He said that they will continue even after marriage .Extramarital relation .He has confidence over himself. I told him that she will forget him after honeymoon.

Mobile and net has changed many thing in our life.We can communicate in a way that was never possible before. It increase our comfort level.It gives false sense of security.But it also gives guys and girls to have affair that nobody will know about except themselves.

I see it as a game . For many people it is true. And both views are right . The problem with being a master-level guy is that you can see truth.You can not hide from yourself.So no worry if you are also in a game , but be aware that it is a game .And like all game it will end .

Our conversation ended with Ashsih saying " Master hone se accha aam aadami hona hai ".So true.

Flowers

When i am not sleeping , only thing that brings smile on my face is flowers and children .I love to see flowers and it reminds me of my childhood.

In Assam , we had lots of marigold of different varieties.There was a wild variety of rose too . And that was my favorite .I wanted a garden full of roses and marigold and i got it when i was in 8th class. We had a new house and as we were at ground floor , i was free to grow whatever i want .

Mummi already had a tulsi just in front of door .I searched everywhere for poppy , rose , guldaudi and other flowers .I used to water them everyday for about half an hour . This was my daily routine .

When i went to Lalbagh last year , everywhere there were flowers and there was a flower show also . Though i was overwhelmed by flowers , i didnt like the flower show .It was artificial and it was hard to enjoy beauty of flowers with thousands of people around you .

True obedience
Silently the flowers speak
to the inner ear

Black and White

When i was young i used to think a lot about good and bad . Most of my definitions about good and bad were absolute.I know what was right and what was wrong .But that made my perception uni-dimensional .

When i first came to Dehradoon , i did a test on myself. I decided that i was 70% good and 30 % bad . I wanted this to be 60/40 %.

When i left Dehradoon , i was at minus infinity .

Now i don't have any definition of good and bad . There are things i like .There are things i don't like .But i don't have any illusion of myself doing something good.

Now I can not define good and bad .I have become amoral.I can feel positive and negative energy .Sometimes i can distinguish between them also .But now i can see many views. Sometimes this create a problem because i have many views on a subject and many people can not understand existence of many contradictory views simultaneously .But then all this nature is contradictory .We all are cosmic joke .

Testimonial to myself

Last night , i thought about giving a testimonial to myself. I was little upset about a incident that is totally unique in my life.I know my life will never be same .But in morning i thought that orkut is not good place to give testimonial to myself.Thats why i am blogging here. It is a short testimonial and the only one which is near to truth .

He is a person who used to live by rules and principles .Then he dropped all rules.Now he has gone wild .No principles in life to live for.

He is a person who never felt attached to anybody .He is a classical loner .Alway prefer to hide his emotions .Want love to rain in his life but always escape from it.He is used to be alone so much that He try to avoid everybody .Each opportunity which can result in some story ,he kills it .

He has no aim in his life .There is no start and no stop .He wants nothing from life .He dont understand the meaning of life.He has left the stage when his mind used to question such things.Now when he is not doing something ,he is lost in dreams.

He dreams about super heroes and cartoons .He can fly and go anywhere .he can fight and win.He can loose. But like his real life , he can not use his power when he needs it .he has to break his dream and change the scenario .He can use his powers only to save others .Others who don't have any names .Others who don't have any face .

Sometimes he dreams about love .He dreams about the girl he love .The girl who don't talk to him.She just smile and he can understand everything .Sometimes she will say a few words and whole day he will be smiling .

Sometimes he dreams about life.Life which he has spent in Assam.He still remember the jungle where he used to play .The play ground where he used to fight .The trees which he has climbed.The tree from which he fell down and got his first fracture. He remembers the school where he first saw others.

He don't know what to say when he meets somebody .He can speak a lot .And he speaks a lot . But he can not communicate. He don't know how to talk to others .How to listen to others.How to understand others.So he just escape and go to his dream world where he don't need to say anything.Where his eyes can say what he can not say.Where he can see the eyes and understand everything.