Higurashi no Naku Koro ni

A Poem

It has been a long time since i have not written any poem .Maybe i am lost in this world .Maybe i dont know what to do or maybe i am just lazy .

Behta hua nadi ke tareh ,
jaane kahan aa gaya hoon mai ,
na koi manzil hai ,na koi raah hai
bas idhar se udhar ,
jaha le jaaye hawa
chale jata hoon mai .

wo samay tha kabhi jab chattane thi kai ,
wo samay tha kabhi jab ufaan tha,
badhe jaata tha bas aage he aage
kyonki aage he badhna manzil thi
ab na koi chattan hai
na he koi ufaan hai
jab kabhi thak jata hoon chalte chalte
tab khud se he takraata hoon mai.

koi mila raah mai to saath aa gaya
kuch waqt gujaar ke aage nekal gaye
kuch waqt gujaar ke peeche he reh gaye
mai bas chalta raha
aur nekal gaya itana aage
ke koi nahi raha ab saath mai,
kuch pal ke saath ke baad akela na reh jaaon,
ishliye saath se ghabrata hoon mai

chalte chalte behte behte
ek din mil jaaunga sagar se
aur ho jaaunga ek sabhi nadiyon se
door sabhi yaadon se
door sabhi riston se
jo saath rahe jo chale gaye
bhool kar ye sab baat
kar lunga samarpan
aatma visharjan
yahi soch chalta jata hoon mai

Let's Stay Together Always

I was so happy, you were laughing
With a smile that melts everything away
Spring is still far away, inside the cold earth,
Waiting for the time to sprout
For instance, even if today is painful
And yesterday's wounds remain
I want to believe that I can free my heart and go on
I cannot be reborn
But I can change as I go on, so
Let's stay together always

Smile only at me and touch me with those fingers
This simple desire is everlasting
I want things to be simple
Let's finally get across this sea of mournful sorrow
For instance, even if today is painful
Someday it will become a warm memory
If you leave everything up to your heart
I understand the meaning our living here
It is to know the joy of having been born
Let's stay together always

My Pace is Just Fine

Upgrade , backup and restore

Filenet servers for Nestle were being upgraded on Saturday and Sunday , so my presence was required for emergency . I reached office at 1:30 pm on Saturday . Shyam told me that upgrade has failed and we will be rolling back . It was PE that failed to upgrade . I have yet to see the error which caused PE unable to connect to RDBMS .

Now i know that i will not be required as we have not changed anything in AE , still i had to be there till everything is completed and tested properly . So i waited while CE was being restored to previous version . After 4 hours we were informed that restoration has been done , so the support team checked CE but CE services were down .

So while the support and backup team were working on restoring CE , i watched Pirates of Caribbean 3 . Finally we were able to bring one node of CE up but i have already spent 27 hours in office without any sleep . We checked all scan stations and AE . Everything was up and working . i was pretty sure that now everything is fine so i decided to go .


so lesson learned from this was that while making backup make sure that it will work fine . and sometimes upgrade does not work

i enjoyed working at night , spending whole day without sleep . After many years i saw sun rising in the morning , birds flying and transition from night to day .

Flag and Bus

On 15th , i thought that i should be more active and decided to watch some movie . I thought "Harry potter and Order of phoenix " will be fine . PVR was showing it . So i went to Garuda mall .While i was waiting for bus , i saw many children waving tricolor .It was everywhere . every fourth auto had a flag . Many buses had it . and some motorcycles also had it . I was surprised to see so many flags everywhere .

There was a flower show at Lalbagh . Even from bus i can see thousands of people in and around Lalbagh .Because of traffic bus stopped many times and it took me more than two hours to reach Mayo hall .

I know that i will not get ticket for "Chak de India " . But as harry potter was released last month, i was hoping for it . When i reached Garuda mall , i saw that it is Inox and PVR is at Forum . As i was in no mood to travel more , i decided to have lunch there and come back .

But there was one problem , like Abhimanyu i know how to go from my place to mayo hall but dont know how to come back . So after waiting more than half an hour for the bus i decided to do what i do in such situations . i walked up to MG road from where i took the bus . As i had pass, i don't need to worry where the bus will go . Luckily it was going to Shivaji nagar and i know which bus will go from there to my place.

I waited for the bus but it didn't come . Because of traffic i had to wait for more than 2 hours .

So my whole day was spent in waiting for bus and commuting .

So i confirmed what i already know . It is better to enjoy holiday at home sleeping and watching cartoons .

Illusion

Gauri told me about Illusion when i was in third year .As he has lost it , i went to market and bought it . I finished it in less than an hour .And it become one of my favorite book.It is very simple yet very profound. Some of my favorite quotes from Illusion are :

• Learning is finding out what you already know. Doing is demonstrating that you know it. Teaching is reminding others that they know just as well as you. You are all learners, doers, and teachers.
• Your only obligation in any lifetime is to be true to yourself. Being true to anyone else or anything else is not only impossible, but the mark of a false messiah.
• A cloud does not know why it moves in just such a direction and at such a speed, it feels an impulsion....this is the place to go now.But the sky knows the reason and the patterns behind all clouds, and you will know, too, when you lift yourself high enough to see beyond horizons.
• The truth you speak has no past and no future. It is, and that's all it needs to be.
• What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly.
• Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished. If you're alive, it isn't.
• Everything on this list may be wrong.

Cartoons

There was a time when we had only one channel :Doordarshan . It was not even 24 hours channel . Obviously there were few serials and fewer cartoons . He-Man must be one of the earliest cartoon that i watched because i remember the dialogue "BY THE POWER OF GREYSKULL!! I HAVE THE POWER ."I remember GI Joe , Sigma and some other cartoons but all i remember is their name .

But there were some cartoons i can never forget . It is mostly because of the opening song they had .

Gaya Baya : gaya baya gaya baya
kissi ko hasaane aaya
kissi ko rulaane aaya
gaya baya gaya baya

Jungle Book : Jungle jungle baat chali hai pata chala hai



arre chaddi pehen ke phool khila hai phool khila hai

Duck Tales :Jindagi toofani hai
jahan hai Duck Tales
gadiyan lajer hawaai jahaj ,
yeh hai duck tales

TalesPin : dont remember the song only the tune

kahaniya : Guccha hai bhai guchha hai kahaniyon ka guccha hai

Kahani le lo

khatti hai to namak lagake

khatti hai to namak laga ke

gale mai utare paani
le lo le lo

guchha hai bhai , guchha hai

kahaniyon ka gichha hai

kahani le lo

Padhana Leekhana seekho

Yesterday when i was coming back from office , our cab stopped at traffic signal at Devegoda petrol pump .It happen everyday . Children will be selling flowers and gajaras . But yesterday it was different . I saw a lady sitting with flowers around her and knitting them in a garland.A small child was sitting near her , with a note book and a pencil writing something .

Today when i was at bus stop waiting for bus , i saw a group of children going to nearby school .At least two of them were bare foot . And they were happy going to school as they know that they will be learning something there.

Most of us don't value education .We take it granted as we never suffered .We did not have to struggle to buy a book or a pen .But millions of children did not have access to even basic education .

This scene reminded me of this government sponsored jingle...


Padhna likhna seekho oh mehnat karne walo
Padhna likhna seekho oh dhoop mein chalne walo
k ख ग घ को पहचानो
अलिफ को पढना सीखो
अ आ इ ई को
हथियार बना के लड़ना सीखो...
Padhna likhna seekho oh mehnat karne walo
Padhna likhna seekho oh dhoop mein chalne walo

Engagement

On Friday i attended my friend Sandeep's engagement. Earlier i had planned to go to hotel alone , but in the morning Ankur called me .So we decided that we will meet at Majestic at 11:30 am and then go to Chalukya hotel together .As always I reached Majestic at 11 am and Ankur came at 12 .i don't like waiting for others , that's why i prefer to go alone.

We reached Chalukya hotel at 12:10 .Ankur told me that lunch be at 1 pm . Sandeep has asked me to come at 12-12:30 .But in invitation card , time for lunch was 1 pm . And i know that it means lunch will be at 1:30 or later . I have yet to attend any wedding/engagement where people will come at right time or lunch/dinner will start at scheduled time.

Ankur called Jaishree to ask her whether she is coming or not .She said that she is also coming .So we decided to wait for her . Sandeep and his fiancee were sitting at "Singhasan" . After every few minutes people were coming and wishing them .Then cameramen will take their group photo. I don't understand what people do with these photos.

Finally our wait was over and Jaishree came . we went to the stage and wished them good luck . Then we had a group photo ..We all were hungry , so we went for lunch . Food was good (south Indian dish).

Then we came back to office where i spent my whole day solving one-click display problem .

When i was coming back to my room , i was thinking ....

"सुबह होती है शाम होती है ,
यू ही जिंदगी तमाम होती है "

My journey

First time i thought what i wanted to do in my life was when my teacher asked us what you want to become . One of my friend said "Doctor" .Another said "engineer" . When my turn came i said "nothing " .
This answer was ridiculed every time i said it . But it was true . I never give it much thought . I wanted to flow like water singing :

" हम तो दरिया है हमे मालूम है अपना हुनर ,
जिस तरफ भी मुद गए रास्ता हो जाएगा "


I spend weekend reading comics . In evening i love to walk aimlessly . As an aftereffect of comics most of the time i will be lost in fantasy world . Though it was not like this earlier . When i was in school i used to sing poems .Without meaning , without any theme . I will be singing while roaming in Jungle .

And i have realized that this is what i love . No aim , just wandering here and there. Sometimes it rain .I saw people trying to hide under some shop . I don't understand why people don't enjoy rain .

Sometimes when i get tired , i drink a cup of tea. It is a very different experience .Drinking tea and watching people all around you .Everybody busy in his life . Or watching moon and stars .And i remember

" To enjoy your tea you have to be there "

virtual love

Ashish called me last week. He is in love again .I know it will not take much time , but i was expecting better resistance from him . After all he is a master -level guy .

He was talking to many girls .Last time he told me about a girl who is engaged with some other guy .She was hooked on talking to him and he was enjoying the game. I warned him that he will fall , but he told me that he understand everything now.if only it was true.

The girl told him that she has broken her engagement .Now Ashish started talking to her as friend.slowly slowly he fell again .He proposed her and she accepted.ha ha ha ha...

He knows that there is no future.But he dont want to accept reality .And that is the main problem .If you just want to enjoy , then it is fine.But if you want to escape , you are falling . I told him bare truth .There is no future. He said that they will continue even after marriage .Extramarital relation .He has confidence over himself. I told him that she will forget him after honeymoon.

Mobile and net has changed many thing in our life.We can communicate in a way that was never possible before. It increase our comfort level.It gives false sense of security.But it also gives guys and girls to have affair that nobody will know about except themselves.

I see it as a game . For many people it is true. And both views are right . The problem with being a master-level guy is that you can see truth.You can not hide from yourself.So no worry if you are also in a game , but be aware that it is a game .And like all game it will end .

Our conversation ended with Ashsih saying " Master hone se accha aam aadami hona hai ".So true.

Flowers

When i am not sleeping , only thing that brings smile on my face is flowers and children .I love to see flowers and it reminds me of my childhood.

In Assam , we had lots of marigold of different varieties.There was a wild variety of rose too . And that was my favorite .I wanted a garden full of roses and marigold and i got it when i was in 8th class. We had a new house and as we were at ground floor , i was free to grow whatever i want .

Mummi already had a tulsi just in front of door .I searched everywhere for poppy , rose , guldaudi and other flowers .I used to water them everyday for about half an hour . This was my daily routine .

When i went to Lalbagh last year , everywhere there were flowers and there was a flower show also . Though i was overwhelmed by flowers , i didnt like the flower show .It was artificial and it was hard to enjoy beauty of flowers with thousands of people around you .

True obedience
Silently the flowers speak
to the inner ear

ISKON slide show

Picasa has a new feature using which we can embed slideshow link for one or more album from Picasa . So here i am posting slideshow of some pics of Bangalore and other ISKON temples.

Jab tumse itafaakan

jab tumse itefaakan jab tumse itefaakan

meri nazar mili thi

ab yaad aa raha hain

shayad woh janwary thi

tum yu mili dubara

phir maahe farwary mein

jaise ke hamsafar ho

tum raahein zindagi mein

kitna hasi zamana

aaya tha march lekar

raahein wafa pe thi tum

waadon ki torch lekar

baandha jo ahde ulfat

aprail chal raha tha

duniya badal rahi thi

mausam badal raha tha

lekin mayi jab aayi

jalne laga zamana

har shaks ki zabaan par

tha bas yahi fasana

duniya ke darr se tumne

badli thi jab nigaahein

tha june ka mahina

lab pe thi garm aahein

jully mein jo tumne

ki baatchit kutch kam

thein aasman pe baadal

aur meri aankhein purnam

mahe agast mein jab

barsaat hoo rahi thi

bas aasuon ki baarish

din raat ho rahi thi

kutch yaad aa rahi hain

woh maah tha sitambar

bheja tha tumne mujhko

tarke wafa ka letter

tum gair ho rahi thi

octubar aa gaya tha

duniya badal chuki thi

mausam badal chuka tha

jab aa gaya navamber

aaisi bhi raat aayi

mujhse tumhein chudane

sajkar baraat aayi

bekhaif tha december

jasbaat mar chuke thein

mausam tha sard usmain

armaan bikhar gaye the

lekin yeh kya batau ab haal dusra hain

arey woh saal dusra tha yeh saal dusra hain

Black and White

When i was young i used to think a lot about good and bad . Most of my definitions about good and bad were absolute.I know what was right and what was wrong .But that made my perception uni-dimensional .

When i first came to Dehradoon , i did a test on myself. I decided that i was 70% good and 30 % bad . I wanted this to be 60/40 %.

When i left Dehradoon , i was at minus infinity .

Now i don't have any definition of good and bad . There are things i like .There are things i don't like .But i don't have any illusion of myself doing something good.

Now I can not define good and bad .I have become amoral.I can feel positive and negative energy .Sometimes i can distinguish between them also .But now i can see many views. Sometimes this create a problem because i have many views on a subject and many people can not understand existence of many contradictory views simultaneously .But then all this nature is contradictory .We all are cosmic joke .

A step by step first exposure to advaita - 3

252. G: Wonderful. Shall we resume now the topic of the BMI and the Atman, the Self?

253. S: Is there a connection between them?

254. G: No. The Atman is unattached and unconnected to anything. It is alone.

255. S: Then why do we have to talk about it, when we are on the topic of BMI?

256. G: Because it is the Atman which gives life to BMI.

257. S: In what sense? In the sense that the Atman is life?

258. G: Let us not use the word ‘life’ in this context.It has already too many connotations.

259. S: Then what does the Atman do to the BMI?

260. G: It gives sentience.

261 S: What! Consciousness?

262. G: Yes, the mind will not be conscious but for the Atman.

263. S: What about the body?

264. G: A mysterious knotting of the BMI and the Atman takes place at the birth of the body.

265. S: Why do you call it mysterious?

266. G: Because even Vedanta says it cannot explain it.

267. S: But do they know why it takes place?

268. G: The why, probably. But the why and how of this knotting are both difficult questions to answer.

269. S: But this knotting is a fact?

270. G: For if not, we would have an impossible situation – of an inert BMI with a sentience borrowed from nowhere.


271. S. Does not sentience mean consciousness ?

272. G. In a sense, yes.

273. S: What is the Atman conscious of?

274. G. That the Atman is conscious of something is a wrong statement in advaita.

275. S: Why so?

276. G. Atman is Consciousness. There is no second object for it to be conscious of.

277. S. First my question is: What is Consciousness without the concept of ‘being conscious of’?

278. G. Let me try an analogy. Have you seen light, without any object that is lighted?

279. S. Do you mean light per se, without any object that is lighted?

280. G. Exactly. Whenever you say there is light, you mean only that objects are lighted.



281. S: But light produces a visual sensation alright.

282. G: Our problem here is whether objects have to be there or not for the presence of light.

283. S. Coming to think of it, yes, you are right. Light is independent of the lighted objects.

284. G: So do you accept that there can be light without any lighted objects?

285. S. Yes, if it is just a question of existence of light.

286. G. So also Consciousness exists without the necessity of objects to be conscious of.

287. S. Guruji, You have really given me a profound truth.

288. G. And Consciousness, say the upanishads, is Atman!

289. S: Earlier we concluded that Atman, the Self is Bliss.

290. G: Thus it is both: Consciousness and Bliss.

291. S: You also said there is no second object in the context of Atman. What is the idea?

292. G. Yes. Atman is one and one only, without any second. This is a statement from the Upanishads.

293. S: Does ‘one’ mean, it cannot have parts?

294. G: Right. Also, ‘Without any second’ means there is no object other than Atman.

295. S: What does ‘one only’ mean?

296. G: It means there is no second Atman.

297. S. What about the Atman in you and the other Atmans in the other bodies?

298. G: Your problem is because you are considering Atman as a finite package sitting in the body.

299. S. No. I understand Atman is pervading the entire body. But there may be other Atmans also.

300. G. Here is where you have to go back to the declaration: Consciousness is Atman.

301. S: Why can’t there be two Consciousness entities?

302. G: Consciousness has no boundaries of space or time.

303. S: So the Consciousness within me and the Consciousness within you are the same?

304. G: That is the point. Let the mind in me and the mind in you be not confused. It may lead to absurd conclusions.

305. S. Does it mean then that the Atman in all bodies is the same?

306. G: In all animate bodies, yes.

307. S: What about the inanimate? What about the universe of matter?

308. G: They are all Atman.

309. S: What! Is matter also Consciousness? That cannot be.

310. G: You are able to see, now, that advaita is not just a dinner conversation matter!



311. S. In fact earlier you said BMI is not Atman and now you are saying all matter is Atman.

312. G. Very smart. Now I have to extend your horizon of knowledge before I answer this.

313. S: I thought we are coming to the end of the discussion.

314. G: We are just beginning. Let us look at the universe around us.

315. S: I see a vast expanse of space and multifarious objects in it.

316. G: How long do they last?

317. S: Well, some of them last my lifetime; but some of them, like the stars, last for ever.

318. G: Don’t say ‘for ever’. You know even stars have a lifetime.

319. S. But the universe lasts.

320. G. Here we have to go back to our scriptures. It is said the universe itself has a lifetime.


321. S: What if?

322. G: So nothing lasts for ever. Everything passes away.

323. S: I am prepared to accept it as an innocuous truth.

324. G: It is not innocuous if you think further about it.

325. S: Please guide me which way to think.

326. G: The universe not only passes away but in the course of its life, it keeps on changing.

327. S: Of course, everything is undergoing a change.

328. G: What is change?

329. S: Change is something that occurs when one state of existence transforms into another.

330. G. How do you become aware of it?



331. S: I become aware of it by measuring it against the backdrop of a constant state.

332. G: Wonderful. That constant state – does it ever change?

333. S: Well, everything changes – in the context of eternal time.

334. G. So let us understand it correctly. There must be something that is constant always.

335. S: I do not understand the ‘always’.

336. G: Behind all sorts of all changes, there must be something that is constant, that is invariant.

337. S: What is that invariant constant?

338. G: That must be something that is independent of time and space.

339. S: Maybe, you are right. For otherwise, it will also change.

340. G: Good. We postulate therefore a basic entity that exists all the time and everywhere.

341. S: It is only a postulate.

342. G: No. The Vedas and Upanishads cry from the housetops that it is the Truth.

343. S: Either way it does not matter to me.

344. G: My dear, you cannot slight the Vedas like that.

345. S: Pardon me, Guruji. Then let us come back to that postulated basic entity.

346. G: Shall we give a name to that entity, for purposes of communication?

347. S: I have no objection.

348. G: Let us call it ‘It’ or ‘That’.

349. S: May I submit that you may think of a more descriptive name?

350. G: The Upanishads speak of it as ‘It’ and ‘That’. But they also call it ‘Brahman’.



351. S: Well, this is better!

352. G: What have you postulated about this Brahman?

353. S: That It never changes and It is everywhere and all the time.

354. G: One thing more.

355. S: Something more to be postulated?

356. G: No. From your own postulate it will follow.

357. S: What is it?

358. G. That It is infinite.

359. S: What happens if it is not so?

360. G: The postulated changeless character will not hold good.

361. S: Can you explain?

362. G: If It is finite, then addition of something from outside It will change the original ‘It’.

363. S: So Brahman is infinite. O.K.

364. G: It is also the all-pervading Consciousness.

365. S: How come?

366. G: We have still to see quite a lot of that basic entity, ‘Brahman’.

367. S: You have still to tell me about the meaning of Brahman.

368. G: I shall tell you what it stands for and you will get the meaning yourself.

369. S: By our own postulation it is the basic entity that exists always and everywhere.

370. G: It stands for the One Reality that pervades everything, animate or inanimate.



371. S: I would like an analogy for this pervasiveness.

372. G: Like gold in a golden ring.

373. S: Because of this pervasiveness, shall we say it is the Cause of all that exists?

374. G. Not only that. It is itself Causeless, nameless and formless.

375. S: Why nameless? We have already named it Brahman.

376. G. We only followed the Upanishads. Any other name would have suited it also.

377. S: But it exists. Everything that exists has to have a name and a form.

378. G: Everything that exists belongs to the category of pictures painted on a screen; while, ...

379. S: I see, Brahman belongs to the category of the screen.

380. G: So Brahman is like the ocean and everything else is a wave on the ocean.

381. S: But the ocean itself has a base, the surface of the earth.

382. G: That is why, analogies have to be used carefully. No analogy should be extended unwisely.

383. S: So is the ocean-wave analogy as also the screen-picture analogy only to tell me what supports what?

384. G: Yes. Brahman is the substraturm which never changes while everything else changes.

385. S: Like the movie screen which is the base for all the drama enacted on it.

386. G: That is a beautiful example. Hold on to it. We shall use it later.

387. S: Can we give a better analogy?

388. G: Brahman is beyond all analogies. It cannot even be imagined.

389. S: Is it because there is nothing else other than Brahman?

390. G: It is because it is beyond space.



391. S: I get the idea, but still I would appreciate an explanation.

392. G: Imagine space without earth, without water, without fire and without air. Can you?

393. S: Certainly, I can.

394. G: Now can you imagine something outside of space?

395. S: That is pretty difficult.

396. G: That is what I meant. Earth to water, to fire, to air, to space is a passage from the grossest to the subtlest.

397. S: The negation of each grosser entity is possible within the framework of the more subtle one.

398. G: Certainly. But once we reach AkAsha, space, the negation of that cannot be done by the finite mind.

399. S: And AkAsha is to be merged in something more subtle, that is, Brahman?

400. G: The Vedas only declare the existence of this entity and call it ‘sat’, that is, Existence!

401. S: Shall we therefore say that Brahman is the commonality of everything there is?

402. G: Now go back to the Atman, the Consciousness in all that is animate.

403. S: I see where you are leading me. You are going to connect this Atman with that Brahman?

404. G: You have just missed the mark. Not just ‘connect’; I am going to say They are the same.

405. S: What! Atman and Brahman are the same?

406. G: Exactly. This is the fundamental conclusion of the Upanishads.

407. S: It is too much!

408. G: What is your reservation?

409. S: Atman is our inner essence. Brahman is what is everywhere. How can they be the same?

410. G: What is everywhere can be in your core also!



411. S: That doesn’t seem to be enough logic for me.

412. G: That is why our elders resort to the authority of the Upanishads for this.

413. S: But the concept of Brahman is then again unclear.

414. G: Well, you cannot hope to understand Brahman purely by your intellect.

415. S: How else do I understand it?

416. G. Brahman is not an object of knowledge.

417. S: Then what is it?

418. G: It is itself pure knowledge.

419. S: You are only playing with words.

420. G: No. Brahman cannot be known in the usual way by which everything else is known.

421. S: Even by observation and experiment?

422. G: Because, Brahman is beyond cause and effect, substance and attribute.

423. S: Is it then just a void?

424. G: Not at all, because it is a bundle of consciousness.

425. S: Then how are we supposed to become familiar with it?

426. G: Why familiarity? You are It.

427. S: You mean I am Brahman?

428. G: Of course. But you have to qualify that ‘I’.

429. S: In what way?

430. G: The ‘I’ has been covered and camouflaged by so many other things.



431. S: Earlier you said there are two selves, namely the outer (BMI) and the Inner.

432. G: The Inner Self is the Atman. It witnesses all your actions but is never involved in any of them.

433. S: Is that the one which is the same as Brahman?

434. G: Yes. We shall discuss that point later in more detail.

435. S: Now that you have mentioned ‘actions’, I have several questions.

436. G: You may ask them. But remember to include your thoughts in the category of ‘actions’.

437. S: How can actions and thoughts belong to the same category?

438. G: Because thoughts are also actions -- actions of the mind.

439. S: Who is responsible for my thoughts and actions – most of which I would like to disown?

440. G: You can never disown any of your thoughts or actions. You have to be responsible for them.

441. S: In what way?

442. G: Thoughts and actions leave their vAsanAs in your mind.

443. S: What are vAsanAs?

444. G: VAsanAs are imprints of earlier tastes and tendencies. They form the cause of future birth.

445. S: And the state of no future birth is supposed to be moksha!

446. G: Moksha, release from births, cannot be attained until vAsanAs are exhausted.

447. S: How do I exhaust all my vAsanAs?

448. G: It is a good question. But let us do some organization of our discussion.

449. S: I am ready.

450. G: As you exhaust earlier vAsanAs you also acquire newer vAsanAs.



451. S: That is unavoidable.

452. G: But there is a strategy to avoid this acquisition.

453. S: I thought Vedanta is far from being a game of strategies!

454. G: But Lord Krishna is a strategist. He tells you how to avoid future vAsanAs sticking to you.

455. S: You mean in His Gita?

456. G: Yes. He says: Do your actions with detachment.

457. S: I have heard this word very often in religious expositions. Please tell me about it, Guruji.

458. G: The word ‘non – attachment’ is more expressive. Let us use it.

459. S: Does non-attachment mean that we should not be attached to anything?

460. G: It is the attitude of non-attachment that is recommended.



461. S: But if I am not attached to my work, how do I do it efficiently?

462. G: Actually only then you can do it efficiently.

463. S: It is perplexing. How can that be?

464. G: Because attachment will cloud the issues, as it did for Arjuna on the battlefield.

465. S: But how does Vedanta resonate with this idea of non-attachment?

466. G: It is Vedanta that gives the right rationale for non-attachment.

467. S: Shall I try to reason it out?

468. G: Go ahead, that is what I like.

469. S: Vedanta says that there are two selves in me: the perishable BMI and the imperishable Atman.

470. G: You have begun well.



471. S: The Atman is changeless, so does not do any action.

472. G: All action is done by the BMI.

473. S: But it is the Self that motivates the action.

474. G: No, the Self does not motivate the action. In the presence of the Self action takes place.

475. S: So who is responsible for the action: the Self or BMI?

476. G: BMI cannot act; it is inert.

477. S: Then it is the Self that is responsible.

478. G: That is where you miss a subtle point. There are two selves.

479. S: A self which identifies with BMI and a self which does not.

480. G: You be the Self which does not so identify.

481. S: But then who acts?

482. G: Action happens in the presence of You, namely the Self which does not identify with BMI.

483. S: But then I will become responsible.

484. G: No, You are only a witness, a silent non-participating, non-attached witness!

485. S: You mean: Let my mind think, Let my hand act ... Still should I remain just a witness?

486. G: Yes. That is the meaning of your identifying with the Inner Self.

487. S: This is walking on razor’s edge!

488. G: That is why a Krishna had to explain that strategy!

489. S: Looks like we are cheating ourselves!

490. G: There is no cheating here. In the presence of the Inner Self, because of that presence, action takes place.



491. S: In any case the doer is I myself, right?

492. G: No. You are not the doer. Your attitude is ‘na ahaM kartA’. “I am not the doer”.

493. S: But with this posture, I can go and kill somebody and say “I have not killed”!

494. G: First of all it is not a posture. But tell me, why would you kill somebody?

495. S: Because I need to kill. I want to.

496. G: What is the need?

497. S: Oh, it could be several things. Revenge, maybe.

498. G: That is it. By bringing things like revenge, jealousy, etc. you have brought in attachment.

499. S: Attachment to what?

500. G: Attachment to the result of your action.

Water Water Everywhere

Saturday was an exciting day . After dinner at 9 , i listened to osho's discourse on Astavakra gita .I was half sleeping , half listening .But at about 11:30 , i though why not talk to someone .So i called Sonam and bored her till about 1:45 .Then it was time to sleep completely .

I was still awake when i felt water .It was raining heavily outside and immediately i know what has happened.Water was coming from outside and soon my room was filled with 1 feet water . My immediate concern was my laptop , so i put it in one of the shelf . Then i though about my mobile , it was already wet and i saved it from getting completely wet .

For about half an hour i kept thinking what to do .There was nothing i can do and it was still raining . I thought about going outside .So i opened my door and i saw some big rats moving towards some safe area . i was scared of them so i closed my door again .But more and more water was coming and so at about 2:45 i decided to go outside . I climbed one of the wall to go to first floor and then used stairs to go to second floor . I did not wanted to disturb anybody , so it took me another 10 minutes to decide what to do .Finally i thought that i should inform my landlord . But he was not there .So i stood there watching the rain at 3 . It was a beautiful scene and i forget about my room .

I saw that someone was at ground floor , so i went there . My landlord's room was also filled with water and they were also thinking about how to get rid of it . So i was not alone .Instead of watching them , i decided to go to my room and sleep . I jumped to one of the higher self , put my laptop and mobile there and slept . Water was at 2 foot level and it was still raining.

As i never sleep before thinking for about an hour , i started thinking about water . It was an interesting example of how life can change at anytime .Just few hours ago i was talking and now my mobile was dead and my room was filled with water . We can never expect what can happen in our life .

I thought of possibility that water will rise more and my whole room will be filled with water .Though it was impossible still i thought about it .Then i started thinking what i will do in such scenario and whom will i call if i know my death is certain . The answer was very easy . I will not call anybody .Why disturb any body's sleep . Slowly slowly i was feeling sleepy and i stopped thinking .

I wake up at seven in morning . Still water was there. But it was about one feet only . As there was no outlet , i know that i will have to do something . Fortunately, bathroom was free of water now , so i started throwing water using a bucket . After one hour all two rooms and my kitchen were back to normal .But it was complete mess . There was lot of mud everywhere . My landlady told me that she will take care of it , so i need not worry about it .

I went for a bath and the for breakfast . When i came back , everything was fine .Though there were lots of clothes to wash .I washed clothes and then decided to complete my sleep . Soon i was lost in my dreams again.

Testimonial to myself

Last night , i thought about giving a testimonial to myself. I was little upset about a incident that is totally unique in my life.I know my life will never be same .But in morning i thought that orkut is not good place to give testimonial to myself.Thats why i am blogging here. It is a short testimonial and the only one which is near to truth .

He is a person who used to live by rules and principles .Then he dropped all rules.Now he has gone wild .No principles in life to live for.

He is a person who never felt attached to anybody .He is a classical loner .Alway prefer to hide his emotions .Want love to rain in his life but always escape from it.He is used to be alone so much that He try to avoid everybody .Each opportunity which can result in some story ,he kills it .

He has no aim in his life .There is no start and no stop .He wants nothing from life .He dont understand the meaning of life.He has left the stage when his mind used to question such things.Now when he is not doing something ,he is lost in dreams.

He dreams about super heroes and cartoons .He can fly and go anywhere .he can fight and win.He can loose. But like his real life , he can not use his power when he needs it .he has to break his dream and change the scenario .He can use his powers only to save others .Others who don't have any names .Others who don't have any face .

Sometimes he dreams about love .He dreams about the girl he love .The girl who don't talk to him.She just smile and he can understand everything .Sometimes she will say a few words and whole day he will be smiling .

Sometimes he dreams about life.Life which he has spent in Assam.He still remember the jungle where he used to play .The play ground where he used to fight .The trees which he has climbed.The tree from which he fell down and got his first fracture. He remembers the school where he first saw others.

He don't know what to say when he meets somebody .He can speak a lot .And he speaks a lot . But he can not communicate. He don't know how to talk to others .How to listen to others.How to understand others.So he just escape and go to his dream world where he don't need to say anything.Where his eyes can say what he can not say.Where he can see the eyes and understand everything.

Ten Commandments

Osho was asked for his ten commandments.
This was his response:

"You have asked for my Ten Commandments. It's a difficult matter, because I am against any kind of commandment. Yet, just for the fun of it, I write:"

1. Never obey anyone's command unless it is coming from within you also.

2. There is no God other than life itself.

3. Truth is within you, do not search for it elsewhere.

4. Love is prayer.

5. To become a nothingness is the door to truth. Nothingness itself is the means, the goal and attainment.

6. Life is now and here.

7. Live wakefully.

8. Do not swim - float.

9. Die each moment so that you can be new each moment.

10. Do not search. That which is, is. Stop and see.